Life is tricky, tough, and sometimes downright exhausting. You have so many things to balance at one. I feel overwhelmed at times, but it sure is nice to have those days when you feel like you are making progress.
This is the time for final exams for me. I have been in college for so many years, it feels like I should have a PhD. But, each time I have had to regroup, I did so for good reasons. I don't regret the decisions that I have made. And, really, I could not have found myself in the position I am in now, getting ready for a program and career to which I feel so well suited. I also wouldn't have taken ceramics and art classes that have brought me so much satisfaction.
I have never been an artist in the pure sense, but I have got a great passion for things artistic. I always have had good and bad days when it comes to trying to create something artistic. Through the course work and practice I have had to do in my art classes has given me the discipline to finally be able to render what I see in my mind's eye. I have sometimes bumped heads with professors over style or personality, but I have learned from them each time. Because I am more mature now, I know how to take criticism and do better. I don't take it personally. I don't know if I could have done that when I was younger.
My science classes are now paying off in a big way. I have always wanted to apply my knowledge and abilities in this area, but was stuck with where to go with it. I thought pharmacy or nursing might be the answer, but by working in the laboratory at the university that is part of the program I am entering, I know that I am capable and suited to this field.
The good thing is, it feels like it is paying off this semester. I have hovered near A's in my classes, but with a three-year-old, strep throat, and G.I. issues this semester, I am so happy that I ended up with mostly B's. I have learned to be less hard on myself. I could have done better, but I am at peace with my choices to spend home time with my child. I don't get as much study time as I might, but she is a wonder and a delight to have in my life. I regret nothing.
That is one of the most important lessons I learned growing up, listening to our mentor in Buddhist faith, Sensei, Daisaku Ikeda: Live your life so that you have no regrets. Every mistake you make is a chance to grow, no matter how cheesy it sounds... it could be a poster at Successories, no doubt. But it is nonetheless true. That is how I make the most of it, mistakes, sucesses, bad days and good.
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